Profound shit.

 fucking badass chameleon,

Idgaf,

 I'd wear a green shirt so he could blend in with me and be my wing man

"hey man, what time is it?"

"Idk, how bout you ask my fucking badass hombre here?!"

"Chameleon, what do you think about time?"

He'd change colors to orange

"Chameleon says, fuck that shit."

Dissociation

When I contemplate reality,

I think on what it does to me,

And how I am and what I am to be,

But separation on me plays,

And rips and tears my world away,

Such that I can’t take another day,

In a blood red world with hearts so gray,

Where demons all just run and play,

Sometimes I could just blow it all away,

But something still within me beats,

And so within me secrets sleep,

Chained where they can’t make others weep,

Or make them come apart from stitch,

Faced with things they cannot grip,

Seeing in my mind something has ripped,

‘Cause in my head I’m worlds away,

While all the others laugh and play,

I just sit here bleeding out another day,

  

Since peace within me’s gone away,

And troubles are all here to stay,

Into the darkness I’ve begun to sway,

Then with peace flees happiness,

Drive and future jumped the fence,

And in my head something has gone amiss,

Tell me can you stomach it,

A world where your piece doesn’t fit,

And everything feels so counterfeit,

That’s why this statement lacks deceit,

Insanity within me creeps,

And lures me into colder streets,

So to the world I’d bend my knee,

If I thought they’d hear my plea,

To walk away and let me stay asleep.

Once in a while

Once in a while,

The light in your smile,

Could melt the ice holding my heart.

And I still think of you,

Even though we are through,

When life’s trying to tear me apart.

And the fire you made there,

Is something I still bare,

Watching the ash as it falls.

It’s all hustle and bustle,

While despair drives my muscle,

To patch all the holes in my wall.

It’s a long winded struggle,

As my legs start to buckle,

And my knees fall flat on concrete.

But it’s all just a warning,

I know that come morning,

I’ll have trouble just moving my feet.

Every now and again,

I think of you friend,

And the mess that you’ve made out of me.

But I’m not gonna stay here

And slave to the same fear

That better things lie six feet deep.

Rampant Silence

I’m not so sure; I can’t quite tell,

But I think I might be mad as hell,

‘Cause life in general tends to suck,

And no one seems to give a fuck,

Ship of fortune’s long set sail,

But still I sit here mad as hell,

Upon the shores of trepidation,

Seeking answers from my nation,

But in speaking they tend to fail,

And as always I’m mad as hell,

So I try to find some solace,

In respect, compassion and knowledge,

But now my sanity grows frail,

Still my mind is mad as hell,

I might calm down if I use a gun,

And bring cold silence to everyone,

I might feel pleasure with corruption felled,

But I’ll probably still be mad as hell,

Until the day that I’m not spited,

And the wrongs have all been righted,

Until the day my anger’s quelled,

I’ll just sit here, mad as hell.

Be yourself

There’s no need to defend,

Against someone your end,

Since happiness comes from within,

And you shouldn’t be blue,

From their comments so rude,

For every insult give them two,

You should just trust yourself,

And appease no one else,

When it comes to the forming of ‘self’

Because life is for you,

And it’s sad but it’s true,

That the ones missing out are not few,

Since when living the life of another,

The one and true self you will smother,

It’s better to say “fuck the others”,
Be you.

My grievance to humanity

I’m shocked and appalled,

At the gall of you all,

Standing with your backs to the wall,

With eyes raised up high,

To a dark leaden sky,

Enslavement of all growing nigh,

There’s no savior for you,

Or the world you once knew,

‘Cause this one has played you a fool,

And I wish it weren’t true,

That we’re all fucking doomed,

Seems in the end the enlightened are few,

And then fewer still,

Are the ones who would kill,

To defend their forefather’s will,

That all men be free,

To live life equally,

To chase after dreams and seek peace,

But I guess it’s okay,

For us all to be slaves,

To a system that never repays,

A single dime to those it denies,

The freedoms and rights,

Of all in this illusion called life.

You are

The reason I get lonely sometimes,

The reason I'm awake when even the moon wont shine,

Not a reason at all - just a momentary lapse thereof,

Good memories gone bad - with a hint of fine age,

Words at the tip-of-tongue forever held at bay,

Not a regret - at least that's what I tell myself,

The life, blood and soul,

To this one sided love I behold,

While I watch broken years now unfold,

The hole ever gaping,

Since it's me I'm forsaking,

Whenever I come back for more,

The most beautiful sun,

to shine for this one,

Leaving me with a black sky,

The reason I'd barter,

My soul as a martyr,

If it meant I could just call you mine,

The best at disguise,

Sharp pain painted prize,

That makes this flood flow from my eyes,

Why love I despise,

Why I dry my tired eyes,

And with suicide now roll the dice.

In the end

It was boredom that created you, dear blog, and it is boredom that brings me now back to you to write once more on the intricacies of my head.

So, humanity, the question on my mind these days seems to be what's the difference between you and I? Aside from the fact that you can point fingers without open eyes? I'm just curious because it's hard for me to understand how we differ at all?

I mean the reality of it all is that we're all "human", a clever little title that one, and we all have differences and similarities. These differences and similarities however are just characteristics, characteristics are perceptions, perceptions are what shape and mold reality for us individually. If that is so, then we all must approach life by perceiving it, and thus are we not all the same? Do we not all go through life sticking our metaphorical tongues out to taste the air?

But we really don't even have to go that philosophical with it to see that we're all the same, the biggest differences we have are race and gender. I mean racism and sexism are on the decline but they never really go away. The reason for that is the system we live in, which is made to drown us in the shit. You want something you must inevitably take it from someone else, and in order for you to want to do that you need to hate them. So greed becomes hatred, hatred becomes violence, violence becomes oppression, and oppression becomes war - and war my friends is the end of us all.

We're a fucking ouroboros story friends, we're chomping at the end of our own fucking existence. I say this with rage on my tongue but love in my heart, I hate to watch us fall. Watching us crumble into cliques of race and class like foolish children, it sickens me. What's worse however, is the fact that while we crumble into these foolish cliques the people behind the scenes are getting ready to turn us all into slaves - forever. Friends, do you really think that just because you live in the 'land of the free' you're free? None of us are free, not one of us on this god forsaken planet. What enslaves us is reality. The reality we've created with money, possessions, religions, sex, governments, laws, oppression, nations and power. The reality that unless you're powerful you're serving the powerful, the notion that any one man is better than any other man.

Still, I look around and I don't see anyone else getting pissed. As a matter of fact, I see all of you FUCKING SHEEP eating from the very hands that strike you down! You stare through the boob tube all day, all fucking day, you don't think for yourself or do anything you're just spoon fed lies and quite content with it. I swear the way you spineless fucks eat up the shit they're selling you it's just detestable. When did humanity become such a disgrace, when did it all go to shit? When did we stop giving a fuck that the governments who work FOR US are FUCKING US? When did we stop giving a shit that we're killing each other so our governments can build more highways and build more prisons and build more - oh what the fuck does it even matter what they're building anymore it's all for the same purpose: control.

But you know with as mad as I get at you sheep-like people, I just get kinda hopeless too. Where's the responsibility lie, you know? Whose fault is it that we stopped rebelling when shit wasn't quite right? Whose fault is it that we got a little too comfortable and became easy prey to those who seek control? At any rate, the time's comin where you're gonna have to choose between freedom and security, tyranny and liberty. The choice will cost a lot of you your lives, so I'm really hoping you end up making the right choice.

As for me I think I'll die my own man, even if that means I die for what you see as nothing - in my mind I wont have any regrets. I'm sick of regretting things, so I'm just not gonna do that anymore. It's always the same you know, it's just a shame, that's all.

Ode to Skyrim

Just a small fan poem about The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I love this game, so intense sometimes. Written in a mix of poetry and modern prose.

You step out of breezehome to head off on your travels

Having heard of great treasure and bandits to scour

You ready your steed and don him his saddle

Then it’s off to explore the ruins of once a great tower

Up on the mountain with tower in sight

The bandits are spotted – a weak looking lot

The chief then steps up - “your gold or your life”

You size up the lot – “I’ll leave you to rot”

With a flick of your tongue they burn like the sun

As survivors take off for the door

It’s only begun yet their poor lives are done

As you put the last of them down with the sword

But lo and behold there’s more to be told

As dragons swoop down from above

Their souls all but sold they’re sure to be bold

Yet with landing their graves they have dug

They breathe frost and fire but you do not tire

And beckon a storm from above

They fly ever higher but now to their ire

The lightning has shown them no love

One comes crashing down with a cacophonic sound

To find that your blade’s at his throat

With a strike to the crown the beast is brought down

And his flaming flesh sent down the road

Now one ancient remains as he lands in disdain

And with pride shouts “Yol Toor Shul”

Flames he did rain and leveled the plain

But it seems he mistook you a fool

As you lower your shield you’re filled with new zeal

And lunge towards the dragon with force

The dragon does reel for defeat he must feel

As his blood hits the ground in remorse

You walk in the tower and to the end of our tale

Seeking your payment for felling the beasts

A word wall before you – a power unveiled

A great gift of magic – a malevolent speech.